Love, Peace and WARRRRRRR

Being a mother for 13 years I have learned a couple of very important things. Not from my parents, not from other parents but from my Kids. The biggest lesson learned was the art of PICKING MY BATTLES.

Now, parents it seems like not a day goes by that we are not yelling, screaming, and/or arguing with our children. Back in the days there was no, I mean NO negotiation with our parents. We argued with our parents in our minds in fear that we would get our teeth knocked out.  But guess what, just like Day Light Savings...TIMES HAVE CHANGED. So instead of being upset and causing more conflict than there needs to be we have to learn how to PICK OUR BATTLES.

This does not mean we give into our children, this means that we don't have to go insane over every little thing.  My parents were always yelling at us about something ....Clean your room, Wash the dishes, You did the laundry wrong, You burnt the rice, Take a shower, Go to bed, Get off the phone, etc.  One day I told my mother she was going to have a heart attack if she didn't RELAX and vowed that I would never be like her (Of course this was when I was away at school, over the phone).  That was until I had my first child. By the time he was 2 years old I already had gray hairs and Gout. At some point I realized I was turning into my MOTHER. It was time for  a Change.

Now this didn't happen over night, but I was determined to make something other than always yelling work.  It started with the art of negotiation.  My son had chores and was suppose to do all, but if he didn't finish his chores I would take away something he loved. No arguing, no yelling. I would ask why he didn't finish his chores, he would give me an answer I would than take away whatever was his Vice for a week. There was one time where he lost his whole bedroom and had to sleep with his little brother. LOL. I sometimes use the "EWW" method on him too.For example, If he doesn't wash the dishes properly I just make sure those dishes are the ones he uses. So if a cup he so-call washed still has milk in it, I will pour juice in it and have him drink out of it. The "EWWW" effect comes when I tell him what I did after he finish drinking. No arguing, No yelling. I don't use the same cups as the kids anyway.

Now the real trick was my second son. From birth he was always very mannish and we knew he was going to be tough to deal with. Taking away his toys didn't bother him, putting him in time out didn't phase him. What did get his attention was IGNORING HIM. OMG, this was soooo hard because the little bugger was not easy to ignore.This little boy LOVES attention and when he is not the center of it the world to him comes to an end  Eventually he figured out when mommy meant business. Now if I ask him to clean up his it's OK Mommy. When I tell him time to bade, it's NO Problem Mommy. (WHO KNEW??)

Parents sometimes you just have to let your kids rock out though. If he wants ice cream for dinner one night, go ahead. But when the Ice cream is done make sure to point out why. If they don't want to take a shower on a Saturday night, Hey you don't have to sleep on their bed. Just make sure to point out that they smell first thing Sunday morning. If no one is helping you clean up the house, COOL. When your done kindly ask everyone to retire to their rooms for the rest of the night (even if it's 3pm), order a pizza and watch movies in your clean, quite living room, by YOURSELF. You deserve it.

Pick your battles wisely and fight the war smart not hard.