What the FORK!!!!!

There are 5 humans living in my house (4 of us can wipe our own butts), but at this present time we only have 4 forks, 5 spoons and two butter knives to eat with. Where in the world did all my eating utensils go????

Apparently Mr. I don't know  and Mrs. It wasn't me is at it again.  How does a family lose hundreds of forks, spoons & knives each year. I take your food out, put it on a plate, bring it to the table, hand you the appropriate utensils to eat with and all I ask is that when your finish you throw whatever food remains on your plate in the garbage......................OMG, IN THE GARBAGE. ALL MY FORKS, SPOONS & KNIVES ARE IN THE GARBAGE. (Who Knew????).

These kids literally throw everything in the garbage. I'm surprised we still have plates and bowls. GREAT, the one time anyone every listens to me is costing me hundreds of dollars a year.

I just bought a new eating utensil set, but that will stay in the box. Starting tomorrow everyone is getting a Plastic Fork, Spoon, Knife with their name on it. You lose it, you eat with your hands. Who am I kidding, they would love that.

Help me PLEASE

You ever been to the supermarket and saw that one little child who was giving his/her mother trouble? Jumping out the shopping cart, running up and down the aisles, throwing cans at his/her siblings, pushing the cart into other shoppers, asking for everything the see, crying really loud when you say NO, etc.

Well believe it or not I have one of those out of control kids.
His name is Antonio and he is a Threeanger (3 yr old who thinks he is a teenager).

Before having Antonio I would watch those out of control kids with disgust. I would tell myself all the things I would do to my child it they every acted out in public. Now, I can totally relate to the parents of little Threeangers. (Who Knew??) They say God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. Well I guess God must think I'm some kind of immortal superhero, because my daily battle with my 3 year old is rough.

So the next time you see a wild, out of control toddler acting the fool in your local grocery, don't look on in disgust. Say a silent pray for us, buy us a bottle of wine or offer to finish our grocery shopping while we wait in the car with the little Threeanger.

Fake it till you make it.

We all have done it at some point in our lives.
As a child we did it to get out of going to school so we can stay home and play video games.
As a teenager we did it to get out of going to church so we can go to the mall.
As an adult we did it to get out of going to work so we can go to the beach.
Now as a parent we do it to just get some rest.

At some point in everyone's life we played sick so we can get out of doing something. I can tell you right now that I play sick at least once a week. Either stomach pains, headache, back pain, gout you name it I pretend to have it. I just know that at least once a week I need a full on BREAK and the best way to get it quick and without too much planning is to fake that I am sick.

How could I do this you ask??? Easy, I just do it.
Why not just ask for a break??? Simple, A stay at home mother of 3 kids, a husband and a house to maintain just can't take ask for a break.

If I asked for a break at least one of my kids would end up taking a break with me or my husband would want to watch tv in the exact same room I decide to take my break in. So after many years of hiding in the bathroom for 20 mintues a day I decided there had to be an easier way.

Faking sick was the best solution I came up with.
#1) People tend to not want to get sick so they leave you alone.
#2) The older kids are so worried about you getting better they will pitch in to keep the younger kids quite.
#3) Your hubby would want you to get as much rest as possible because his kid management time frame is about 35.8 hours.
#4) For a couple of hours you won't have to do a thing but pretend to get better. (Who Knew??)

I'm not sure why my husband or kids haven't caught on to me, but I'm sure after they read this my the gig is up. HAHA. But guess what??? I plan to be sick on Thursday after lunch, so here is your heads up. LMBO.

I RAN FOR MY LIFE

Parents, where you ever invited out on a week night and RAN out the door??

Let me set up the scene for you.....

It's a Thursday afternoon and it's one of my friends birthday. After a full IG/Facebook shout out I text her and ask what are her plans. She lets me know that she just wants to go to the movies and invites me along. OMG.. You know what that means??? It's operation "Mommy is going out". After I confirm the time I put my plans into action. It's already 1pm and she will be arriving to pick me up at 7:20pm. I have 6 hrs and 20 minutes to get my life together.

I have homework to check, go to the grocery, finish wash clothes, cook dinner, and as per my husbands request put two children under the age of 4 to sleep before there bedtime.

By the time I finish drawing out the plan in my head it's already 5pm and NOTHING is DONE.
3 hours before go time and I begin to put my plan into action.

I will put 1 load to wash while I run to the supermarket. By the time I get back that load will be done and I can start to cook. But what can I cook that's fast and easy??? CORN BEEF and RICE. OK, Alicia you got this. Off to the supermarket I go. By the time I reach back I immediately start to cook. Rice is on first, than I can cook the corn beef. While that is cooking I put one set of clothes to dry and another set to wash. I sit the kids at the table and we do homework.

Time check...It's 6:30pm

Food is done, another set of clothes are going into the dryer, put the last set of clothes to wash and all the dried clothes are on the couch to be folded and put away.

Time check...It's 7pm

Lets eat. I take out everyone's food, clean up the kitchen, get a text from my friend that she will be by my house in 20 mins.  Now this is when my working under pressure kicks in.

Time check...It's 7:10pm
I jump in the shower. To save time I'm taking Tonio with me. I bath him and hand him off to his dad who at the same time hands the baby to me. (Who Knew???). I here my friend yell out "ALICIA I'm HERE". I bath the baby and call for my husband to come retrieve her. I finish washing up and jump out the shower.

Time check...7:25pm
While my husband drys the baby off my older son is helping his younger brother get dressed for bed. I get the baby ready for bed and hand her to my friend who is patiently waiting in my living room. I return to my room to get dress.  I find some jeans that are so tight they don't need  to iron, throw on a tank top and a button down shirt (which is kinda wrinkled but Momma is Going OUT). There goes my plans for dressing up. Foundation, Face powder and some lip gloss.

Time check...7:35pm
On the way to the kitchen to make the baby a bottle. I pass into my sons room to tell him Good night.
I make sure the kitchen is clean, take off the light (You know what that means) and hand the bottle to my husband. My friend hands the baby to him as I put on my shoes and double check that I have my phone and wallet.

Time check...7:45pm
I say good night to my Husband and take off running down the driveway. Sweet Baby JESUS, I RAN FOR MY LIFE. All the while screaming "I'm OUT " and got everything done.

Time check...7:00am the next morning
I'm in the kitchen trying to figure out what is that smell???
BOOM, Clothes still in the washing machine. UGGGGGGG

Ask me anything Saturdays.

Hey guys and dolls.
Hope everyone is having an amazing Saturday and those of us with kids fear not, we only have 2 more sunsets until the kids are out the house and back to school.

Today I will dedicate my blog to answering questions from parents. So go ahead ask me anything (as long as it's related to parenting).

Ready, Set, Go........

Sh!t, Shower and don't think about shaving

Oh how I remember the days when using the bathroom was as easy as.....USING THE BATHROOM.

Now that I'm a mother using the bathroom has turned into a well orchestrated event complete with a tag team partner, 2 bottles of milk and some fruit snacks. (Who Knew??)

Using the Toilet (#1 or #2)

First off do not, I repeat DO NOT announce to anyone under the age of 8 that you are going to use the toilet. This announcement seems to activate all children. Either they want to join you or they plan to make some sort of mess while you are handling your business. My strategy is simple. When I feel to use the toilet for any reason I quietly sneak out the room, open the door as quietly as possible, handle my business and flush only after I wash my hands and on the way out. Even the sound of the toilet flushing seems to lure the little people. If I'm unable to sneak away and the kids follow me to the toilet, I simply bribe them with some sort of snack. Usually this stops the banging on the door or the little fingers pushing under the door.

Shower Time

Now when it comes to taking a shower unless the kids are out the house, your shower time is cut down to about 5-10 minutes top. (Washing your hair is a luxury). The perfect plan for taking a shower without the kids coming in to ask you 1 million questions is to use the tag team system. One parent showers while the other watches the kids and prepares their bottles for bed. Once your done, dress as quickly as possible and tag you husband/wife in. While they are taking a shower you can finally lotion your skin and give the kids their bottles. For you single parents, you just gotta bath after the kids fall asleep or risk having your brown living room couch painted with baby diaper rash cream.

If all else fails you can wear a diaper and shower the same time your kids shower.

 

Let me guess...You cooked??

About 3 years ago I figured out that I had a super power. Now why it took me so long to find out I had this power still baffles me to this day. I'm guessing it's maybe because my senses were heightened after having my second child, or I just never paid attention to it before. My bets on the fact that after having my son Antonio I had to start to pay attention to everything. With a blink of an eye Antonio would be in the kitchen, on the counter, and in the cabinets trying to get some cookies.  I'm sure if you sit down and think really hard you too will realize that you have some sort of super power especially if your a parent.

The only issue I have is that my super power only works in my home. It seems to shut off when I leave the house. Come to think about it, that's not such a bad thing anyway.

Now what is my super power you ask?????
*Drum roll please*
I can tell what my Husband cooked in the kitchen without being in the kitchen or even seeing his plate. Crazy right! Well, after my husband uses the kitchen for any purpose (cooking, juice making, etc) he leaves a mess so big I often question if my 3 year old Antonio made the mess. I think my husband likes to hear my talk or finds it sexy to watch me wipe down the counter-tops and mop up the juice stains. Either way there should be no reason I know exactly what you had for lunch when I return home 3 hours later to cook dinner. Especially if there is no dishes in the skin, but all the evidence is still on the counter-top or the floor. This situation has caused me to set rules for my kitchen.

#1 - No one is allowed to use the kitchen while I am cooking
#2 - Stay out my kitchen after it is cleaned
#3 - I will take out everyone's food
#4 - If anyone drops juice on the floor and it's not cleaned up, NOBODY gets juice for 24 hrs
#5 - Clean up your mess as if the Queen of England is coming to visit
#6 - When the lights go off in the kitchen, the kitchen is Officially CLOSED. Do not enter, Pass straight, Drink water from the bathroom sink and if your hungry after the kitchen is closed ...Stay hungry until it reopens.

I'm gonna let you go out tonight but.......

So last night I was able to put on my dancing shoes (not really dancing shoes) and go to a fete (Party for non-West Indians). We sent the kids off for the night so I really didn't have to worry about rushing home. At 3am with drinks packed in our little cooler bag we were off to enjoy a morning of fun.  We danced, drank, danced, laughed and even lost our cups (Sherise where did we leave our cups??). Soon the party was done and it was time to head home. By the time I got in around 9am my husband was knocked out so I just took a shower and went to sleep. What happened next was like a scene straight out of Carnival Sunday 2014. ( I'll tell you that story another time).

Now let me just say this, THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS our two younger kids were with family for the weekend because I don't know how I would have managed.

Around 1pm I awoke to a HORRIBLE headace. I called out to my husband and asked him to bring me some Aleve and a glass of water. As I sat up in the bed to take the pills my morning flashed before my eyes. OMG, why did I drink? Am I going to die AGAIN?, where the thoughts that ran through my head as I ran to the bathroom. By the time I finished bringing up everything I ate and headed back to my room I felt like someone had drop kicked me in the head. Only thing I was thankful for was the fact that I didn't have to deal with any children at that point. As I tried to relax and figure out what the hell I was drinking my husband walks into the room, hands me some ginger ale and then tells me "I'm gonna need you to get it together because Drunk or Sober I bought chicken for you to clean and cook". (Who Knew??)

Am I talking to myself????

Some people think that you become a mother as soon as the sperm meets the egg. While others believe you become a mother when you child is born. I'm different, so I believe your officially a MOTHER the first time you begin to talk to yourself.

I'm talking about a full on conversation, out loud whether your children are in the same room or not. It doesn't matter if it's only you and a newborn home alone or if there are 20 people at your house. That first conversation with yourself is priceless.

This conversation could be about something as small as your 2 week old pooping in your hand while your trying to change her diaper or your teenager giving you back talk about taking out the trash. Once you have children the conversation between you and yourself is never ending. Most of the time your having these one on one conversations with yourself nobody will be paying you any mind anyway.

Why do we talk to ourselves so much after having kids???
Easy, in our minds we are the only humans in the house that's making any sense. So it becomes fitting to talk to your self about issues that only you feel you can resolve.

I can recall hearing my mother talk to herself all the time (even answering herself) and thinking "This lady is CRAZY".  Now I can truly say I feel her pain, (Who Knew??).  I haven't reached the point of actually answering myself, but with this All Star cast of characters I live with I am sure the replies are coming soon.

Land the plane.....

Besides cooking, washing clothes, making up 4 beds, swiping, moping, ironing and eating  having a conversation with my 13 year old is the most exhausting things I do all day. He is a loving, smart child, but his convo's are so long drawn I always seem to cut him off by saying "Land the plane Anthony!".

I know in a couple of years I will miss having someone talk to me about the weirdest things. But right now it just seems to be a little overwhelming.  From the time I hear the long drawn out "MOMMMMMMM" I start to prepare myself to zone out.  His conversations always start off as a question I am sure I don't know the answer too. I mean come on with all the technology he has at his finger tips he comes into the kitchen to ask me if I know the color of the wind? (Who Knew).  At that time I usually roll my eyes and tell him "No Anthony I don't know the color of the wind, why don't you tell me". What comes next is about 3-4 minutes of him trying to explain to me the answer to his very own question. By the time I'm 4.5 minutes into listening I suddenly yell out "LAND THE PLANE ANTHONY".  In short...Hurry up with the story.

I'm sure by now my son knows I have a very short attention span, but does he care???? NOPE. And I don't blame him, He is just doing his job of being the annoying, lovable, smart, son who ask the weirdest questions. If you have more than 1 child, your bound to have one of these kids, Embrace that child in all his/her glory because these kind of kids usually change the world.

Mr. It wasn't Me and Mrs. I don't Know lives here too!

A common phrase in many house holds with children is "It Wasn't Me" & "I Don't Know".
I swear by this point in my life these are actual people who live in my house and need to pay some room and board.

No matter the situation, no matter the age I hear those lines at least 5 times a day.
My 13 year old son is a master at blaming Mr. It Wasn't Me or Mrs. I Don't Know. He is so good at it that now my 3 year old uses them too. (Who Knew??).

But for real, FOR REAL how nobody knows nothing about nothing when something breaks, falls, chips, cracks, moves, cry's, etc. Is it like the saying "If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound?".  Or is it the case of I think I'm smarter than mom!....

Well first off, whatever my kids try to dish out is nothing that I haven't already feed to my parents. HELLO,  I was a child before I became an adult and when my kids get to realize that, than maybe then can pull off lying much better.

It's simple science to me....

 Me: Who drop Juice all over your bedroom floor Anthony?
Anthony: It wasn't me
Antonio: I don't know
Survey Says............
 If the cup was in your room, and it fell on your floor than you knocked the cup down.
 1) Your not suppose to be drinking in your room
 2)If you didn't have drinks in your room than it would not fall
 3)Your room your responsibility

Me: Where is the remote for the living room TV?
Anthony: I don't know
Antonio: It wasn't me
Survey says...............
If the remote goes missing and you was the last person to watch TV in the living room, you lost it.
1)You handled the remote to turn the T.V. off
2)You are the only person in the living room because you keep running your little brother into his room
3) Find my remote before I find you a new home

Me: Where is the black thread that was in my sewing machine?
Anthony: It wasn't me
Antonio: I don't know
Survey says................................
If the thread on my sewing machine is missing it's your (Older son) fault
1)You kept running your brother out the living room so you can watch TV and drink your juice
2)If he was able to watch TV with you he wouldn't mess with my sewing machine
3)Take off that TV, Wash out that Cup and find my damn thread.

Boom, the case is solved. Mr It was't Me and Mrs. I don't know can live to see another day here at the Phillip House.

Love, Peace and WARRRRRRR

Being a mother for 13 years I have learned a couple of very important things. Not from my parents, not from other parents but from my Kids. The biggest lesson learned was the art of PICKING MY BATTLES.

Now, parents it seems like not a day goes by that we are not yelling, screaming, and/or arguing with our children. Back in the days there was no, I mean NO negotiation with our parents. We argued with our parents in our minds in fear that we would get our teeth knocked out.  But guess what, just like Day Light Savings...TIMES HAVE CHANGED. So instead of being upset and causing more conflict than there needs to be we have to learn how to PICK OUR BATTLES.

This does not mean we give into our children, this means that we don't have to go insane over every little thing.  My parents were always yelling at us about something ....Clean your room, Wash the dishes, You did the laundry wrong, You burnt the rice, Take a shower, Go to bed, Get off the phone, etc.  One day I told my mother she was going to have a heart attack if she didn't RELAX and vowed that I would never be like her (Of course this was when I was away at school, over the phone).  That was until I had my first child. By the time he was 2 years old I already had gray hairs and Gout. At some point I realized I was turning into my MOTHER. It was time for  a Change.

Now this didn't happen over night, but I was determined to make something other than always yelling work.  It started with the art of negotiation.  My son had chores and was suppose to do all, but if he didn't finish his chores I would take away something he loved. No arguing, no yelling. I would ask why he didn't finish his chores, he would give me an answer I would than take away whatever was his Vice for a week. There was one time where he lost his whole bedroom and had to sleep with his little brother. LOL. I sometimes use the "EWW" method on him too.For example, If he doesn't wash the dishes properly I just make sure those dishes are the ones he uses. So if a cup he so-call washed still has milk in it, I will pour juice in it and have him drink out of it. The "EWWW" effect comes when I tell him what I did after he finish drinking. No arguing, No yelling. I don't use the same cups as the kids anyway.

Now the real trick was my second son. From birth he was always very mannish and we knew he was going to be tough to deal with. Taking away his toys didn't bother him, putting him in time out didn't phase him. What did get his attention was IGNORING HIM. OMG, this was soooo hard because the little bugger was not easy to ignore.This little boy LOVES attention and when he is not the center of it the world to him comes to an end  Eventually he figured out when mommy meant business. Now if I ask him to clean up his it's OK Mommy. When I tell him time to bade, it's NO Problem Mommy. (WHO KNEW??)

Parents sometimes you just have to let your kids rock out though. If he wants ice cream for dinner one night, go ahead. But when the Ice cream is done make sure to point out why. If they don't want to take a shower on a Saturday night, Hey you don't have to sleep on their bed. Just make sure to point out that they smell first thing Sunday morning. If no one is helping you clean up the house, COOL. When your done kindly ask everyone to retire to their rooms for the rest of the night (even if it's 3pm), order a pizza and watch movies in your clean, quite living room, by YOURSELF. You deserve it.

Pick your battles wisely and fight the war smart not hard.

What a Baby Wants, What a Baby Needs...

Since I started having kids WAYYYYYY before any of my friends/family I was always the one people came to for advice regarding baby, kids, family, etc. The most asked about questions came from soon to be parents or new parents. Now there is a difference between what a newborn NEEDS and what the new parents WANT. It's super kool to get your baby everything you can afford, but I compelled a list of things I think you and your baby must for your first few weeks home.

BABY

• Swing - Any swing will do, just make sure you have the swing set up and ready for when the baby reaches home. You want the baby to become accustom to something other than your arms.

• Car Seat - UHMMMM, they won't even let you out the hospital without one. Your best bet is to get a convertible car seat so it can grow with your baby. 

• Pacifiers - Make sure you have a few different assortments to try on your baby. He/she will pick which one they like.

• Baby Formula - Now we all know BREAST IS BEST, but not all mothers have a good experience with breast feeding. With my first son I produced NO MILK. With my second son I breast feed him for 6 months. With my daughter I breast feed her for only 2 months                 then my milk dried up. Either it comes in late, they produce very little or none at all. So just in-case have a few cans/bottles of formula ready and available.

• Bottles - DUHHH, that's a given. Even if you are breast feeding you will need bottles. You gotta put all the titty milk some place.

• Pampers/Wipes - That's just a given.

• Bassinet - Whether it be a fancy one with gold trim, or a bedside sleeper, make sure you have one. Keep that baby OUT of your BED. Trust me you will thank me later.

• Sleepers - You need about 8-10. It's the easiest thing and the only thing a newborn should be wearing. Anytime I see newborns in jeans I cringe a little. Lets save the fashion shows for at least 2 months old.

MOMMY

• Breast Pump - This is a MUST HAVE. At about 5 days after your baby is born your breast will begin  to inflate like a hot air balloon. After labor I think this is one of the worst pains in the world. Make sure your breast pump is ready because that's a great way to relieve the pain and it also starts to stimulate your breast to produce more milk.

• Breast Pads - Now you won't be breast feeding 24/7, but your breast does not know that and at any given time those sucker will begin to leak. Without your breast pads you will definitely be entering a different kind of WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION.

• Heating Pad - This item is great item to have for many reasons. It can be used to help relieve pressure from your breast while breast feeding or on placed on your stomach to help relieve the pain of your Uterus contracting back to it's normal size. Yes it has to contract back. (WHO KNEW??) Not me. The first time this pain hit me I thought I was going into labor again.

• Belly Ban - For the mommies who want to get back into shape but can't exercise these work GREAT. As a life saver for those mothers who had a C-section. Put that ban on tight and your able to move around all right. (Oh snap that rhymes, LOL)

• Tea -  For the gas pains that will hit you all day long.

• Travel Mug - So you can store your tea to keep warm while your caring for your newborn.

• Breakfast bars - Unless you have help, gourmet breakfast is a thing of the past. Having some breakfast bars handy will help you get a quick bite in before your day begins. (I'm rhyming again)

• Stool Softener - Oh the joy of having to poop before you leave the hospital. But what are you suppose to do when you get home and can't poop. Keep these handy and pop a few before you become too backed up.

DADDY

• Caffeine - New moms can't have it but you sure can. Try to keep up with BABY and MOMMY. 

• Ibuprofen - For your headaches you will get from pulling the night shift then having to go to work for your day shift.

• Pillow/Blanket - Give mommy some time to rest BY HERSELF. Take your pillow, blanket and baby into another room so mom can get some real rest. 

• Patience - They say having a baby is the closet you can come to death. Our bodies just went through some major changes and we are more hormonal than usual. Be patient with her, I promise you she will be back to her normal crazy self soon.

Sleep when the baby sleeps.....

BRUH (that's what the kids are saying now). "You should sleep when the baby is sleeping!" is one of the worst sentences I can hear as a mother. Like seriously, who made this line up??? Had to be either a Man or someone who doesn't have any children. If we decided to sleep when our babies are sleeping this world as we know it would come to an end.

For the first month, you are working on your newborns schedule. As soon as you get on some sort of normal, human daytime schedule you have to start to get your life back in order. Sleeping while your baby is sleeping won't be in the plans.

When the baby wakes up in the morning your either trying to rush other kids out the house, get the husband/boyfriend off to work or just trying to get something to eat before your day starts. Before you know it it's time to feed the little bugger and put them down for a midday nap. Midday naps to you means time to clean up from the breakfast rush, wash/dry some clothes, put away the clothes you washed the day before, fix yourself some lunch, possibly use the bathroom (brush teeth, poop, pee), check emails or if your lucky enough have someone come over to watch the baby while you go grocery shopping or just outside to get some fresh air. By the time the baby gets up again it's lunch time and kids are coming home from school, homework starts and more mess is being made.

Now of course between this time and bed time the baby takes a couple of cat naps, but that still doesn't warrant you to cat nap with him/her. Your too busy trying to stop fights, cook dinner or just keep your sanity.

The only time your are really able to sleep when the baby is sleeping is when EVERYONE goes Night-Night. And if you have a normal baby your going to wake up at least once or twice to feed or change a pamper.  The only way I can see a person sleeping when the baby sleeps during the day is if two things happen.

•  A. Your privileged enough to have a full-time Nanny, in which case I would sleep until at least 11am, go to Starbucks, come back home take another 3 hour nap, than get dress to go out for dinner.

• B. You pass out from pure tiredness causing the neighbors to call your phone to see if your OK because the baby has been crying for 40 mins. (Who Knew??)

You will sleep though, one day in the future or when the baby goes by Grand-mama for the weekend.

1 Kid, 2 Kids, 3 Kids Babysitter No MORE.....

So once you turn a certain age your family begins to pressure you into having kids (unless you already started). But at some age everyone will be asked this same question "WHEN ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?".  If you really want children after a while of parent/guardian/granny pressure you begin to get excited about wanting to start a family.

The first Kid comes along and all your family and friends are super excited. The baby shower is planned by your second sonogram. People are naming themselves God Parents. You hardly have to buy anything because someone is always buying the baby something. You have a Gender reveal party. Your nursery looks like something out of a magazine. By the time the baby comes you hardly see him or her because people are knocking down your door to babysit. Your thinking "THIS IS GREAT, THIS IS EASY".

Now your a little more confident so you decide to go for number 2. This time around though things change just a little. You end up planning your own baby shower. Nobody is calling asking to be God Parents. You end up waiting to shop after your baby shower so you can buy whatever you didn't receive at your baby shower. You have a Gender reveal via Text/Instagram/Email. Your nursery is a mix of old and new items. And by the time the baby arrives you get a flood of help for the first two weeks than you hardly see anyone until his/her first Birthday. Now your thinking "HMMMMM, maybe everyone is just really busy".

Then BOOM you announce your pregnant AGAIN. And that's exactly what everyones reaction is. "Your Pregnant AGAIN?????". Besides your friends/family asking you if your crazy they start to question your ability to raise 3 kids. "Girl how ya'll gonna afford 3 children?", "Daycare is expensive", "I guess no more Carnival for you!".  God Parents are picked a few days before the Christening. You have to buy EVERYTHING yourself because if you decide to have a baby shower NO ONE will show up. There is no more nursey. It's now called "THE KIDS ROOM". Gender doesn't really matter at this point (unless you have 2 boys and your pregnant with a girl). By the time the baby arrives you will get a steady stream of Congratulation texts, 1 or 2 visits and gifts mailed to the house. And those family and friends who convinced you to start your beautiful family are always too busy when you ask them to babysit. In reality they did just ask about you having 1 child, you just took that idea and ran with it. (WHO KNEW?)

OK, Anthony we get it....

From as far back as I could remember anytime I was getting dress to go out (movies, dinner, party, etc) my older son Anthony would give me the third degree.

Where you going?
Who you going with?
How are you getting there?
Who else will be there?
Do you have money in your wallet for a cab?
Is there enough gas in the car?
Is your cell phone charged?
What time will you be returning?

You would swear he was my father. But that wasn't the end of my interrogation. Right before I left I was also giving a set of rules.

Don't take drinks from anyone you don't know.
Don't ride in a car with people who are drunk.
Don't walk alone.
Make sure to stay in well lite areas.
Make sure you have extra cab money.
Don't go home with people you don't know.
Don't leave the group you went with.
Don't leave your personal items unattended.

By the time I was ready to leave he was saying prayers by the front door. After he did this a couple of times I got use to it. I would even mock him sometimes. But I also reassured him every time I left that I would follow the rules.

Me and my husband would laugh about it all the time, telling our friends and family about Anthony's pray session every time we went out. That was until one day while watching TV during Carnival time in Trinidad a PSA came on. To my shock it was a little boy giving his mother who was getting dress to go out the same rules and regulations. I guess he was really on to something. (WHO KNEW??)

Mommy I want PANCAKES....

It's 6am Sunday morning and your having a hard time waking up because you and the hubby decided to go out last night. Drinks flowed, you danced until your feet hurt and even got a burger to eat on the way home. A great night or so you thought. But right now, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT you are looking at the clock that's reading 6am and thinking WHO THE HELL TOLD ME TO GO OUT??.  No, you don't have to go to work, no you don't have a plane to catch, you have a toddler named ANTONIO, who at 6AM wants PANCAKES.

Bad enough for the pass 15 minutes Tonio has been running his firetruck up and down my leg, but he has also made up an "I want Pancakes" song. (Why don't we lock our bedroom door??)

5 more minutes of that song and I decide it's time to get up. Never mind we just got in at 4:45am. (Why didn't we have the sitter stay until noon??). I make my way to the bathroom and look into the mirror. Along with my smudged mascara, I have 2 Thomas the Tank Engine stickers on my forehead. (Really Antonio, REALLY??)

OK time to make PANCAKES. Pancake mix, water in a bowl, at the same damn time. (Thank God I bought the Just Add Water mix). Two Pancakes for Antonio coming right up. I put the pan on the stove, add some butter and wait until it heats up. After what feels like forever the pot is ready, As I pour in the pancake mix I tell myself "We really need to get that sitter to stay until noon".
Boom, pancakes are ready. I put them in his favorite plate and call him to the table. He comes barreling down the hallway on his fire truck, jumps into his chair than sucks his teeth... I ask "Whats wrong Tonio?" He hops back onto his firetruck, looks up at me and says "No mommy, I wanted EGGS". (WHOKNEW??)

Island Survival

Imagine you and your 5 month old was stuck on an island. 

If you could only have 5 items for yourself and 5 items for your baby what would they be??????

(There is no electricity , no wifi on this island either)

Baby

1. Reusable Diapers

2. Pacifier

3. Water

4. Blanket

5. Toy

Me

1. Water

2. Slippers

3. Blanket

4. Flashlight

5. Crossword puzzles

I can't wait to see what your list looks like. LMBO

Married Mother of three beautiful children. Anthony 13 yrs old, Antonio 3 yrs old and Ariana 3 months old. My life as a stay at home mom seems to have most of my friends in stitches so I decided to write about it.
Here is my story....

I had my first son Anthony at the tender age of 19. They actually told me I was having a girl until he popped out 18 hrs later, no drugs. As if begin a teenage mom wasn't hard enough, I decided to get married a year later and swore off having any other children.

Fast forward 8 years later while I was on vacation the baby bug hit me and to my surprise my husband was on board.  But that journey wasn't as easy as the first time around. After two back to back miscarriages my doctors found out that I have a blood clotting disorder caused by years of using birth control (WHO KNEW?).

After 1 treatment of fertility medication we where pregnant again. Excited and worried that pregnancy was the scariest thing I went through. Between taking daily blood thinner shots and being put on bed rest at the fifth month of my pregnancy I was a nervous wreck. But my second son proved to have a lot more surprises planned. My first c-section was scheduled because my son decided he wanted to sit Indian style in my belly (Breech Baby). After he was born we again decided that having any more kids would be too much on my body and family emotionally.

At about 9 months I noticed that my son was not developing as quickly as my older son did and decided to have him evaluated. I was shocked to find out that my some was diagnosed as being Autistic (WHO KNEW?).

Fast forward 3 years later. After a very eventful Carnival in Trinidad we again found out that I was pregnant. My thoughts on this pregnancy was on the fence. I didn't think it would last because of all the medications I had to take to get pregnant and stay pregnant with my last son. To our surprise our little girl survived without any fertility treatments, blood thinner shots,and no bed rest. We had another c-section and she was the biggest baby to date (WHO KNEW?).

Now I'm a mother of 3 beautiful, different little people and I can't wait to share my journey with you.

3pm already???

BEEP...BEEP.....BEEP
From the moment my alarm goes off at 7:12am every morning I begin my daily count down to 3pm.
I have exactly 40 minutes to get Tonio ready for school. Now this would be a breeze if I had a normal 3 year old. But God thought it would be entertaining to send me an over active, opinionated, picky, loud, 3 year old.  Every Sunday night I plan out a morning routine for the week. By Wednesday morning that routine is long forgotten and I'm left running around the house like a chicken without a head.

7:12 - Wake up to alarm or Husband telling me "It's time to get up"
7:20 - Finally get out of bed
7:22 - Try to get Tonio into the bathroom to brush teeth and wash face
7:27 - Give up and brush my own teeth and wash face
7:30 - Ask Tonio what he wants for breakfast (Eggs or Pancakes) as he begins taking out all the toys in his room
7:34 - Finally get an answer after much negotiations. Begins to prepare breakfast.
7:40 - While making breakfast I pack Tonio's lunch while he continues to pull out Toys and brings them into the kitchen
7:45 - Breakfast is ready, Lunch is packed
7:48 - Tonio begins to eat breakfast while he argues with me about what color shirt he wants to wear
7:54 - I realize Tonio is going to be late, so I begin to dress him while he eats.
7:58 - OH SNAP... He still hasn't brushed his teeth. Rush him to the bathroom to brush his teeth/wash his face.
8:00 - Finish getting Tonio dressed (Lotion skin, brush hair, etc)
8:05 - He is finally out the door after I take the 3 cars and extra snacks out his book bag.
8:10 - Clean up kitchen, put away toys, make bottle for 3 month old and put on tea kettle

8:15 thru 2:50pm is ONE BIG BLUR

Now I know your thinking... WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAKE UP EARLIER???

If I woke up earlier it would take the excitement out of my morning...DUHHHH

LOL