And A HAPPY NEW YEAR

THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS.. Christmas madness is OVER.

But I can't complain much because most of my gifts where ordered ONLINE. Why people still step foot in a toy store in search of toys blows my mind. I actually went to Target last week Friday and passed by the Toy aisle wondering if anyone else knew about AMAZON PRIME and all it's amazing AMAZINGNESS. (Yeah I know it's not a Word)

This Christmas has been on of the easiest (shopping wise) I've had in a long time. Anthony just wanted clothes, shoes and money. Tonio has a fascination with maps so all he wanted was things that enabled him to learn about different countries and a Wii so he came finally play "Just Dance". Ari wanted every toy she saw on TV, but she is 3 years old and really doesn't know the difference between all the toys and 4-5 toys. LOL

I didn't plan to go crazy this year for gifts because begin an experienced mom for 16 years I know that after the excitement of opening new toys the novelty of it all wears off and they are all back to watching their ipads. They are literally all watching their ipads right now. The wii is off, Paw Patrol is parked in the corner and the scooter is in the kitchen. (WHO KNEW, I did).

Anyway, I'm just happy that Christmas is over and we can begin a new year. New goals, New Laughs, New Jokes. Thank you all for taking your time out to read my crazy real life stories and I promise to continue to make you laugh.

Happy New Year

Friday Nights Lights

Friday's feel like that moment you see your food coming to your table at a restaurant. The joy you feel when they put that tray down and ask who ordered the Surf and Turf is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Saturday's feel like the moment the host calls your name to tell you that your table is ready. You are excited and ready for a nice drink to wash down the bread they give you to fill you up before your meal comes.(Who Knew?) And Sunday's........Oh, Sunday's feels like that moment you get the bill and end up regretting ordering 2 Strawberry frozen daiquiris.

But, Friday nights at my house feels like the first day on a deserted island. That means "EVERY WOMAN AND CHILD FOR THEMSELVES".
Kids are running around with 1 sock and a t-shirt around their heads. There are chicken nuggets on the floor and a cheeseburger sitting on the TV stand. 4-5 empty carpi suns on the kitchen table. The TV is on Cartoon network while an iPad and iPod both play YouTube kids as it  sits at the base of the TV. The cushions from the coach are piled up in the middle of the floor and used as a safety landing device. Baby dolls and toy trains are lined up along the walls waiting their turn to go no place. You can here screams from a teenager who is yelling at his video game in his room. And ME, I'm showered and in my bed with a glass of wine and an order of lemon pepper wines while I watch "Woman who kill". By 10PM the 2 little terrors are sticky and have finally fallen asleep where ever they landed. There is no bed time and I don't even care if they change their clothes, brushed their teeth or even took a shower. We survived the week, so on Friday nights they rejoice in all of their kiddish glory.

All I want for Christmas is...........

So, It's that time of the year that we as parents all Love to Hate.

For us regular adults it's the time of the year where we start to buy Dunkin Donuts coffee instead of Starbucks. We put back that $30 throw pillow and get the one for $5.00 instead. We hold off from buying that hot new make-up palette and work with the ones we already have. We eat more meals at home and carry our lunches to work.
For most children it's also that time of the year where they pay more attention to the commercials on TV then the actual show. All the new toys are being displayed, trapping your children's brains in some sort of TV matrix causing them to yell out things like "I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS" or "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THAT FOR CHRISTMAS". I guess yelling at the TV speaks your hopes and dreams into reality. (Who Knew?)

As I watched my 3 year old yell at the TV one night claiming all the toys her heart desired I thought "Hmmm, I wonder if that works for Adults too?". So I decided to try it out.
Never Try, Never Fail..Right.

So, after I cooked dinner I asked the kids if I could watch HGTV while we ate and of course they said sure, only if they are able to watch their Ipads. Wanting to see if wishes really come true I agreed and switched from cartoon network to HGTV. The first commercial that came on was a commercial regarding some new paint and I thought maybe I should start small. So I casually yelled out "Ohh, I want that for Christmas". All my kids looked up at me as if I was going mad. The next commercial came on was for an Audi Jeep, so I again yelled out "I CAN'T WAIT FOR SANTA TO BRING ME THAT FOR CHRISTMAS".  By this time everyone has stopped eating and now I'm really getting into the swing of things. The next commercial comes on and it's a contest for a new HGTV Smart home. Like a WHOLE BRAND NEW HOUSE and I can't contain my excitement so I  jump out my chair pointing at the screen yelling "OHHHHHHH, I WANT THAT FOR CHRISTMAS TOOO".  Soon after the show resumes and I take my seat back at the table. Anthony ask me if I'm OK, Tonio tells me I need to relax and Ariana rolls her eyes and says "Mommy, you want too much".

Girl Talk

Parents.. I really want us to start paying attention to the people our children hang around as well as the things they say and do.

I remember growing up and not even begin able to lock my bedroom door. We had 1 phone in the house and it was located in my parents bedroom. After school there was no hanging out, you went straight home and helped your siblings with there homework. My father actually dropped me to school and picked me up everyday until the 9th grade. I hated it then, but I wished more dads/moms where able to take their daughters to and from school. Maybe then I wouldn't have to listen to  the conversations I hear on the train from girls ranging from ages 12-18. The things I hear would make a retired stripper cringe.

At 12-13 years old, I was still playing with my dolls and sneaking to watch The Simpons on a Sunday night. I was still having sleep overs with my friends from school. We would eat sour powers and make up dance routines until we got tired and fell asleep. My Saturday's at 16 yrs old consisted of doing chores and then going to the mall to buy cookies and a Disney glass. You know the ones that would somehow break by Wednesday night. (Who Knew??).  Don't get it twisted, I partied with the best of them by the time I was 16 yrs old, but I still remained a well rounded, respectable teenager who was deafly afraid of my father.

So it really hurts my soul to hear these young girls talk about things that are to be left private and subjects they shouldn't even be talking about in public. I'm talking about little girls having big woman conversations on the damn 4 train around 5pm on a Tuesday afternoon.  Why is it that OUR girls think it's OK to tell her 3 friends that she let a guy she likes put his hand down her pants while they kissed in the school staircase?  Why is it that a girl is proud to say "My mother doesn't care about me and I dare her to take away my phone I will punch her in the face". Why am I subjected to hear about these things on my way home?  Why do they think it's OK to talk this way in public? I know why...There is a generation of parents out there that has given up. They gave up because the system said we can't beat our children, they gave up because the people in church touch our children, they gave up because the cost of living went up and even Grandma who usually stayed home to help raise the kids has to work. Sometimes I feel to just shake these little girls. Other times I want to give them a hug. I would be so hurt to hear my child talk that way, especially in public.

I tell my son everyday that I hope he is not one of those teens on the bus/train talking loud and reckless. (Side note: If you hear or see my son acting in this manner please don't be afraid to report the incident to me.) Because I am that parent who will not give up. I demand the utmost respect from my children in private and in public and I also remind them that I fight little kids.

I know times have changed, but the one thing that should not change is the self respect our girls have for themselves and their families.

Take me back to the days when little girls went in a corner and giggled about a guy crush to her friends, then they played dress-up and organized dance routines to perform at Thanksgiving dinner.

Check List

When Tonio was diagnosed with Autism at 13 months I was overwhelmed at first. I wanted to make sure he had the best help whether it be at home or in school. 

As he grew up we faced many challenges and fought through every single one of them as a team. I actually push Tonio the hardest out of all three kids because I know he needs that extra push. I'm more attentive to his needs/wants, but I'm also more strict when it comes to him. Come to think of it my own mother treated me this same way. I don't have Autism (Maybe some other mental disorder though). But I know for sure I have MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.

I had to learned how to incorporate things into our daily life that will help Tonio have a productive day. One of the most important tools I use everyday is his "MORNING CHECK LIST".

I realized our morning routines where more of me yelling at kids while I run around the house in a towel, one sock and my make-up half done. Realizing that Anthony is old enough to take care of his own morning routine and Ari just goes with the follow, I knew that I need to help Tonio become more productive and independent. Getting him focused on one task in the morning was hard. So one day I sat down and complied a list of the most important things that he most complete in the morning. Once the list was made I printed it out and hung it up in the kids room.

Tonio's Check List

1. Wake Up

2. Pee, Brush teeth, Wash your face

3. Take off your pj's and place them under your pillow

4. Put on Vest, Socks, Uniform pants, Uniform shirt

5. Eat Breakfast (No Ipad, No Iphone)

6. Pack school lunch/snacks in your bookbag

7. Lotion hands, Face

8. Put on Glasses

9. Put on Shoes

10. Put on coat

11. Free Time until Mommy is ready to leave

Now the rules are simple. He is not allowed to engage in any other activities, conversations (unless it has to do with the check list) until he has completed his check list. Like I stated before, I am more hard on him but I also try to make things more easy for him. So, instead of yelling at him to get dress, finish eating his food, or to pack his bag all you hear from me is "TONIO CHECK LIST". By now I don't even have to know where he is on his check list during the morning because he is doing a great job. And if I see he is going off course I just remind him "TONIO CHECKLIST". He is more focused in the morning and I yell about 25% less. "Who Knew"  

Maybe we all need a check list to help us out during the day. And when find ourselves going off course then you can  just  yell out "CHECK LIST". LOL

Anthony Checklist

1. Get up

2. TAKE A SHOWER

3. BRUSH MY TEETH

4. TAKE ANOTHER SHOWER 

5. Iron clothes

6. Show mom

7. Iron them again

8. Brush hair

9. Show mom

10. Brush hair again

11. Pack book bag

12. Put on shoes

13. Pack book bag again

14. Make sure I have my keys, wallet

15. Ask mom for money

16. Leave for school

Ariana Checklist

1. Wake up

2. Use the potty

3. Brush my teeth

4. Go back in my bed until mommy is ready for me

5. Take off my PJ’s 

6. Put on my Uniform

7. Watch Dora until Mommy is ready to leave

Mommy Check List

1. Wake up

2. Say a pray

3. Meditate

4. Yell at Kids

5. Bath

6. Yell at kids

7. Put on clothes

8. Try not to drink WINE

9. Yell at kids to leave

10. Drink some Tea, not wine

11. Go to work

1.       

1

Mom I can't find the car.

If you are a parent then you have definitely heard this line before "MOM I CAN'T FIND IT."

The line heard around the world. The line that causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head. The line that causes you to put down your glass of wine, throw on your robe and catch an instant head ache the moment you go to the exact location and find the exact object the child just  said they couldn't find ."WHO KNEW".

Just like the washing machine loses your socks, kids seem to misplace things and expect you to find it. Or we put something down in the house and send our kids to retrieve it only for them to say "Mom I can't find it." This happens to me at least once a day in my house. Now I'm at the point where I don't even ask anyone to find something for me, and if they loss a toy, book, remote it just stays LOST.

But what do you do when you send your child to look for something like the family car and he comes back and tells you "Mom I can't find the car"? Here is my story.

Monday morning 10/16/17.
After a long weekend of shopping, eating out and birthday/baby shower celebrations everyone gave me hell to wake up Monday morning.  After driving around my neighborhood for an hour the night before I finally found a park around the corner. In my effort to get inside the house quickly so I can get everyone to bed I forgot to take Ari's Ipad and Tonio's Iphone and glasses out of the car. It's only when I finally got into bed Sunday night did I realize that I left those items in the car. I made a mental note to self that in the morning I will send Anthony out to get the stuff from the car. Now, Anthony (High Schooler) has done this before so I didn't put any thought into asking him to do it again. By 7:15 Am he is downstairs ready to go. I stop him before he leaves and tell him to run around the corner and get the stuff out the car. This should only take about 5-6 mins and then he can be on his way. He takes the car keys and heads out the door. By this time the other two kids are almost ready for school and I'm packing lunch bags in the kitchen. About 15 mins pass and I realized I haven't heard from Anthony so I call his phone. When he answers I ask him what is taking so long and he says "Mom, I couldn't find the car but I left the keys by the door and I'm heading to school. At this point my stomach starts to turn into knots, the vein in my forehead begins to throb and I start to panic. But I also have to stay calm because I have two small little humans that can't see Mommy sweat. They are watching and taking mental notes on how to BREAK ME DOWN and I will NOT give the enemy aka my children any ammo.

Coming out of my panic, I start to rush around the house finishing up my morning duties. All the while trying to figure out WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAR. Did someone steal it? Was it Towed? I know I was tired and in a rush, but I'm always responsible when it comes to parking my car.

Finally I get the kids out the door. Now we usually head right towards everyone's school but I need to find out what happened to the car so we head left. This throws my kids for a loop and they begin to ask questions. Why we going this way? This is not the way we go? Are we going to school?
KEEP CALM ALICIA, is all I keep telling myself. I don't want to tell them that the car is missing so I just say I need to check on something. As we near the corner, my hands begin to clam up, and now I'm break out into a cold sweat. All the while Ari and Tonio are skipping and singing songs of merry cheer. We turn the corner and I close my eyes and open it slow....BOOM. THE FUCKING CAR IS SITTING IN THE SAME EXACT PLACE I PARKED IT. Still not breaking my cool, I retrieve the Ipad, Iphone place it in my bag, put Antonio's glasses on his head (which by the way he lost later that afternoon) lock  the door, check the parking sign and then proceed to drop everyone to school.

Not wanting to take all these electronics to work I make a quick detour back home to drop off the items and that's when it hits me. I literally had to sit down and gather my thoughts because all I wanted to do was go to Anthony's school, and drop kick him. He probably walked out the house, realized it was cold, said Forget this and came back home.

Moral of this story.... Don't ask your children to look for the car.

The LUNCH BOX.

The dreaded BACK TO SCHOOL shopping.

Now, this should be a simple task right??? But of course GOD likes to laugh at me so he always seems to put me in these crazy situations. School shopping would be made easy if I had a few helpful things to help me along the way. For example.....A LIST OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES BEFORE SCHOOL OPENS. Yeah teachers, that would be nice. Anywho, with out this list I'm stuck in Target spinning around with 2 packs of pencils and 4 notebooks hoping this might be on their list when I finally get it. But that's another topic we will discuss later.

I've been doing this back to school shopping for over 13 years so I figure as long as I get the basics all will be right in the world. (Who Knew?) Now the basics consist of Pens, Pencils, Notebooks, Folders, Crayons, and the LUNCH BOX. But how is it that out of all the things I buy every year I dread the LUNCH BOX??? Well simple, that's because before the 10 month school year is over I end up buying over 387 lunch boxes. 😘😘

I really don't get it. How do you continue to lose a lunch box?? Where do they go???
Even after countless hours of me calling the school and even searching through lost and found I could never seem to find the missing LUNCH BOX.  So this year I decided to do things differently. I bought 1 lunch box and when you lose it, you lose it. I will not continue to contribute the LUNCH BOX Matrix.

Tonio lost his lunch box only 3 days into the new school year and I found the perfect solution.

This plastic bag is very versatile.
It can hold up to 10 items, keeps the juice cold, and can be tossed into the trash when the child is done. Plus he gets to choose a new bag everyday.

I'm recycling and also helping the fight against the LUNCH BOX MATRIX.