Mom I can't find the car.

If you are a parent then you have definitely heard this line before "MOM I CAN'T FIND IT."

The line heard around the world. The line that causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head. The line that causes you to put down your glass of wine, throw on your robe and catch an instant head ache the moment you go to the exact location and find the exact object the child just  said they couldn't find ."WHO KNEW".

Just like the washing machine loses your socks, kids seem to misplace things and expect you to find it. Or we put something down in the house and send our kids to retrieve it only for them to say "Mom I can't find it." This happens to me at least once a day in my house. Now I'm at the point where I don't even ask anyone to find something for me, and if they loss a toy, book, remote it just stays LOST.

But what do you do when you send your child to look for something like the family car and he comes back and tells you "Mom I can't find the car"? Here is my story.

Monday morning 10/16/17.
After a long weekend of shopping, eating out and birthday/baby shower celebrations everyone gave me hell to wake up Monday morning.  After driving around my neighborhood for an hour the night before I finally found a park around the corner. In my effort to get inside the house quickly so I can get everyone to bed I forgot to take Ari's Ipad and Tonio's Iphone and glasses out of the car. It's only when I finally got into bed Sunday night did I realize that I left those items in the car. I made a mental note to self that in the morning I will send Anthony out to get the stuff from the car. Now, Anthony (High Schooler) has done this before so I didn't put any thought into asking him to do it again. By 7:15 Am he is downstairs ready to go. I stop him before he leaves and tell him to run around the corner and get the stuff out the car. This should only take about 5-6 mins and then he can be on his way. He takes the car keys and heads out the door. By this time the other two kids are almost ready for school and I'm packing lunch bags in the kitchen. About 15 mins pass and I realized I haven't heard from Anthony so I call his phone. When he answers I ask him what is taking so long and he says "Mom, I couldn't find the car but I left the keys by the door and I'm heading to school. At this point my stomach starts to turn into knots, the vein in my forehead begins to throb and I start to panic. But I also have to stay calm because I have two small little humans that can't see Mommy sweat. They are watching and taking mental notes on how to BREAK ME DOWN and I will NOT give the enemy aka my children any ammo.

Coming out of my panic, I start to rush around the house finishing up my morning duties. All the while trying to figure out WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAR. Did someone steal it? Was it Towed? I know I was tired and in a rush, but I'm always responsible when it comes to parking my car.

Finally I get the kids out the door. Now we usually head right towards everyone's school but I need to find out what happened to the car so we head left. This throws my kids for a loop and they begin to ask questions. Why we going this way? This is not the way we go? Are we going to school?
KEEP CALM ALICIA, is all I keep telling myself. I don't want to tell them that the car is missing so I just say I need to check on something. As we near the corner, my hands begin to clam up, and now I'm break out into a cold sweat. All the while Ari and Tonio are skipping and singing songs of merry cheer. We turn the corner and I close my eyes and open it slow....BOOM. THE FUCKING CAR IS SITTING IN THE SAME EXACT PLACE I PARKED IT. Still not breaking my cool, I retrieve the Ipad, Iphone place it in my bag, put Antonio's glasses on his head (which by the way he lost later that afternoon) lock  the door, check the parking sign and then proceed to drop everyone to school.

Not wanting to take all these electronics to work I make a quick detour back home to drop off the items and that's when it hits me. I literally had to sit down and gather my thoughts because all I wanted to do was go to Anthony's school, and drop kick him. He probably walked out the house, realized it was cold, said Forget this and came back home.

Moral of this story.... Don't ask your children to look for the car.

The LUNCH BOX.

The dreaded BACK TO SCHOOL shopping.

Now, this should be a simple task right??? But of course GOD likes to laugh at me so he always seems to put me in these crazy situations. School shopping would be made easy if I had a few helpful things to help me along the way. For example.....A LIST OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES BEFORE SCHOOL OPENS. Yeah teachers, that would be nice. Anywho, with out this list I'm stuck in Target spinning around with 2 packs of pencils and 4 notebooks hoping this might be on their list when I finally get it. But that's another topic we will discuss later.

I've been doing this back to school shopping for over 13 years so I figure as long as I get the basics all will be right in the world. (Who Knew?) Now the basics consist of Pens, Pencils, Notebooks, Folders, Crayons, and the LUNCH BOX. But how is it that out of all the things I buy every year I dread the LUNCH BOX??? Well simple, that's because before the 10 month school year is over I end up buying over 387 lunch boxes. 😘😘

I really don't get it. How do you continue to lose a lunch box?? Where do they go???
Even after countless hours of me calling the school and even searching through lost and found I could never seem to find the missing LUNCH BOX.  So this year I decided to do things differently. I bought 1 lunch box and when you lose it, you lose it. I will not continue to contribute the LUNCH BOX Matrix.

Tonio lost his lunch box only 3 days into the new school year and I found the perfect solution.

This plastic bag is very versatile.
It can hold up to 10 items, keeps the juice cold, and can be tossed into the trash when the child is done. Plus he gets to choose a new bag everyday.

I'm recycling and also helping the fight against the LUNCH BOX MATRIX.

SUNDAY FUNDAY

During the week I run a tight ship at home. Up by 6:30am, out the door by 7:50am, Dinner by 7pm and everyone goes to bed by 8:30pm. So by Friday night I let my hair down and allow the kids to be free. This includes McDonald's every Friday (which can be eaten anywhere except the bedrooms), and allowing the kids to watch TV or play on there Ipads, game consoles until their eyes bug out.  


Saturdays are for cleaning and running errands. This must always include a trip to Target. We, I mean I always need something from Target. (Who Knew?)


Sunday's is GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER day. This day we make sure all homework, book reports are done and most importantly the dreaded LAUNDRY. I wash the younger kids clothes and my older son is responsible for washing his own clothes. I have a minimum of 2 loads per child, which should only take about 1 1/2 hour to wash, especially being that I have a washing machine in my basement.


This has been my routine for the past 10 years, but EVERY SUNDAY I  can't seem to get it RIGHT.


Every Sunday I wake up with a purpose and that is to Wash the kids clothes by 12pm, cook dinner, take a nap and watch TV. THIS NEVER HAPPENS.


I'm up by 8am and cook a nice breakfast for the kids. While they are eating I make up the beds and sort their laundry. By 10am they are finished eating and I clean up the mess that they make. So, far so good RIGHT??? I make sure everyone changes their clothes and I hit the basement with my basket full of clothes in hand. So by 11am I have my first load washing and LIFE SEEMS GREAT.


I go back upstairs and this is where everything goes LEFT...By the time I reach back upstairs there is Jello on the couch, playdoh on the tv, apple juice on the floor, Ari is missing a sock and looking for her pacifier, Tonio is crying because Just Dance keeps freezing and Anthony is no where in sight. After getting everyone back on track and the place cleaned back up its now 4pm, I still have 3 more loads of clothes to wash, we are all hungry and I just end up taking a nap.

What happened to the LIVER Mom??

Growing up in a West Indian house I was thrown into situations with NO WAY OUT.
For example, having to eat Liver for dinner at least once a week. Now, it was either you ate that liver with your white rice and liver gravy or you ate that white rice with liver gravy and took your happy butt to bed. There was no arguments, no questions asked, no making of something different. We where told that Liver was good for us (WHO KNEW) and we had to eat it. 


Come to think of it I always saw my dad cooking the liver, my mother sharing out the plates to us, but I never witnessed them actually eating this meal. HMMMMMMMMMMMMM


Anywho, lets fast forward to about 20 something years later and include my three children to this equation.  There has seemed to be a shift in the matrix's when it comes to certain things. For example, EATING LIVER BECAUSE IT IS GOOD FOR YOU.


Now, my parents play a major role in my families dynamics. One of two pick up the little ones (Ari and Tonio) after school and often prepares dinner for my entire family before I get home from work. While I am very thankful and blessed to have such amazing parents in my life I'm left to wonder WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIVER??


Since the birth of my son 16 years ago I can't recall my parents cooking liver not once.  So I decided to ask my mother one day why she no longer cooks her famous once a week liver?? Her answers amazed me.


Me: Mom, why don't you guys cook liver anymore?
Mom: Because you are grown
Me: WHAT?
Mom: We only cooked it when you guys where younger because they said it was good for children
Me: Did you eat the liver when you cooked it?
Mom: Heck NO, that stuff is disgusting
Me: WOW, so you just feed it to us.SMH
Mom: Yup, but your health now right!
Me: Hmmm, so why don't you cook it for my kids?
Mom: Because I don't want to punish them. I'm their NANA so I get to spoil them. If they want Pizza for dinner then that's what we are having. If they want Shrimps and Mac/Cheese for Dinner that's what we are having. I cook now based on what my grandbabies want.
Me: WOW, MOM

What A Summer

This was the first summer in years that all my children stayed in New York for their summer vacation. Mind you, they all had plans of what they wanted to do and where they wanted to go before school let out. (Who Knew?)

So I asked my children what they wanted to do for their summer break and this is what I got.

Anthony: I'm going Florida with my cousin for 2 weeks then I'm coming back home to find a summer job so I can have my own money for back to school.

Antonio: I'm going to Trinidad. You have to send money so I can have a birthday Party by my auntie pool again and when I am ready I will come back home.

Ariana: I want my crib and my Ipad.

It's an amazing thing when children have such great imaginations. Because this is exactly how their summer went.

Anthony: Did not go to Florida, Did not find a summer job and only left his room to pass Go and collect money for food, games and a few outings with his friends.

Antonio: Did not go to Trinidad, We celebrated his birthday at Chucky Cheese and every day he asked to go to either Hawaii or Mexico.

Ariana: Went to school every day, missed all the weekday pool adventures with Antonio and only got to use her Ipad when she came home from school.

Moral of my blog, SEND YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FOR THE SUMMER. It's less expensive and you won't become addicted to Wine.

Vacation for your Vacation

This past weekend I took my children on a surprise vacation.
(Mom tip #3B - When taking your kids out and you don't want to hear 1 million questions weeks, days in advance just don't tell them anything until you reach your destination.)

As your children grew you realize that they really don't pay too much attention to what's going on in the house. Hence why I was able to pack 2 suitcases full of clothes, shoes and toys and no one knew anything was missing. (Who Knew)

The day of the trip everyone went to school as normal and when they got home I advised them that we had to go out for a few. A cab was called, luggage was loaded and we where off to the airport. At this point not even my older son asked where we was going because he so busy with what was on his phone, Tonio only wanted to know why he had to take his book bag and the baby just wanted her pacifier.  Our flight left from Newark which meant it was about a 90 min cab ride. On the way there my younger son started to ask questions.

Tonio:
Where we going again?
Why haven't we reached?
Are we really going somewhere?
OMG we getting on a bridge?
Can we get off the bridge?
Are we reaching in the night?
Can we go to Chucky Cheese?
Are we going to the park?
Do you have snacks?
Another Bridge Mommy?

Tonio literally talked the full 90 mins to the airport. We arrived at the airport and I advised my older son to get the luggage out the trunk and it was then that he became confused. As I proceeded to the check out counter this was the only time that everyone was quite. After speaking to the agent I gave all three there boarding passes and the smiles on their faces where priceless. Of course Anthony spent 40 mins on his phone tell his friends that he would be missing school, Tonio had 1 million more questions and Ariana just wanted her tea (Milk for Americans).

Tonio:
How did you do this?
Where are my clothes?
Is there a pool?
How big is the plane?
Did you tell my teacher?
What time are we getting there?
You have snacks?

The weekend  was filled with lots of great memories and I am sure they are excited about where they might be going next. But after every family vacation Mommy needs a bottle of red wine and a mini vacation of her own.

You take them OUT?????

IG, SnapChat, Facebook...these are places we go to showcase to the world what we are currently doing. Whether it's on vacation, at the nail salon, movies, dinner or park most of us have posted a little part of our lives on the internet. But when did it become mandatory?????

One day a friend of mine sent me a text asking if I wanted to accompany her and her kids to the Circus. But when I advised her that we already went her comment made me squint me eyes and re-read the text as if she was speaking a foreign language.

Her comment "Oh, Well you didn't post that you went on IG so I didn't know you already took your kids" made me realize how much people actual view your life through social media. (Who Knew??)

It took me 10 mins to respond to her because I wanted to make sure I came off friendly yet informative.  

My response "Yes girl, I took them to the circus on Tuesday. Next time you want to do something with the kids call me because I hardly post what I do with my children and I like to live in the moment when it comes to them. We are actually at the movies right now so I will hit you up later."

In the era we live in if you don't post every aspect of your life people assume that your not doing anything. If you don't post your mate they will assume your single or hiding them. If you don't post your children they assume you are not a good mother. When did having to prove something to strangers become the normal? Why would I be judged if I don't show pictures of me and my children on vacation, out eating, at an event?

The last time I checked my social media had my name on it not my children's name. Yes I post a few pictures of them but I choose what I want to post. I'm sure when my teenage son decides to get any social media account I will NOT be all over his page. LOL

 I came from the era of parents who took there kids out without having to broadcast it to the world. My father was a photographer and my parents walls are filled with child hood memories. But what I remember the most is them being PRESENT and in the moment. Not stopping me from being a kid to take 100 pictures just so they can upload 1 picture to THEIR social media account.  Most of the best pictures my parents have are not staged anyway.

85% of your followers are strangers and I'm sure they did not request me to see pictures of my 2 years old eating cotton candy at Coney Island or a video of my son showing me how to dab. 

But hey, What do I know!